So each episode (though there are subplots and tons of stuff going on) always comes back to Marilyn, or the the music or the music inadvertently about Marilyn.
I am not going to delve into one of my many History lessons, but Marilyn Monroe was seriously fucked up. I mean here she was, this gorgeous blonde bombshell, with everything in the world to offer, and yet she was constantly sublimely miserable throughout her entire life. Everyone wanted something from her, and in return, wanted even more. It was take, take take, a long one-way road.
And that's not even talking about the men she was with!
Because she was absolutely gorgeous, Marilyn often found herself the desire of every man in (and out of) her direct path. Like any woman, she used this as her greatest weapon. It made her a star. It made her famous. It made her look like the most successful woman in the world. It made her the envy of every person in America. It made her powerless. Sad. Desperate. Destroyed.
The more she gave, the more she wanted back. She kept thinking that one more kiss would give her the love she was missing. One more night would ensure she would finally feel something. That saying "I Do" would tame her fear of loneliness and she could finally wrap herself in love.
She never got it.
It's the most tragic part about the whole story. This woman, who couldn't get anymore beautiful, blonde, sexy, seemingly perfect...she literally could not get ANY BRIGHTER, was left to her own devices of emptiness, loneliness and a heart full of sorrow. For all that she gave, she never got anything back.
There was a beautiful song on Smash tonight that eerily echoes how my life has come to be, as of late and really, if I am honest with myself, maybe since the dawn of my time. It's about the men in her life....how she gives it all...she falls everytime, but she's always the only one.
"For the men that I've known
Who have clearly shown
They've been reading him from the start
Cause when it comes to me
Well, their kisses come free
But they never give all the heart"
I could write a novel (and actually am) on the art of being cautious in love. Never trust anyone, especially yourself. Suspect everything. Believe nothing. I could rant for days, and sound like your bitter cynical aunt you only see at family functions that you avoid like the plague. But the thing is, you're gonna do whatever it is you're gonna do. It's like the song goes:
"As the wise man once wrote,
Never give all the heart
Well, it's easy to see
He was writing for me
I just wish I could play that part"
It's the worst part. You know it's wrong, yet you still do it. Like a moth to the flame. So I am not here to tell you to be the strong one. To be guarded and crazy. Let loose. Take a chance, do something you know is wrong. Play the part you know you shouldn't.
Just hear this part: set limits. If you give and give and you don't get anything back, then you stop. Don't wait until you've given, given, given, given until you've got nothing left.
I don't really know if this story is gonna end well (Marilyn's certainly didn't), but I do know we should really take a cue from Miss Monroe's tragic life choices.
Know your limits. And be proud of them. Don't keep giving when you get nothing in return.
It's not a difficult concept. It's like supply and demand. Hell, our entire country is built on the principle. So why are so many of us willing to compromise everything for nothing?
That's it. It's not about holding back, or shutting off. It's about giving and getting what you give back. And if you don't, stop giving. That's the lesson Marilyn never got. She never got the memo that she was allowed to stop if she didn't get anything in return. And that's something we all deserve.
PS, kisses never come free.
