The OG New Romantic

Well, it's safe to say, like 98% of the world, I have a MAJ #girlcrush on none other than T-Swift. I know, I know.

Please refrain from using the eyroll emoji just yet and hear me out. This girl, who is legit the soul reincarnate of Joan of Arc and Carrie Bradshaw simultaneously, is majorly under-appreciated within the intellectual circles of (borderline) Millenials. Due to her throngs of teeny-bopper fans, questionable fashion choices, awkward movements and too many model friends, she is constantly overlooked and thrown out with last week's New York Mag.

Needless to say, this girl totally NAILED my life in this current song of hers, The New Romantics. And I don't think it was on purpose (and if it was, I will spontaneously combust (Mind. Blown.))

You have got to read the lyrics, and yes, they are obvious. But I am going to propose a slightly different interpretation that literally changed my life, breathed hope into my new situation and basically told me to stop trying to fit the mold.

If you take the time to read any of my posts (I know I have about 2 fans out there), you will know rather quickly that most of my thoughts consist of trying to navigate this world as a single woman who constantly challenges the status quo; tries to explain taking the road less traveled, and basically is borderline defensive in her life choices and the way it's turning out.
Well, I am here to tell you this post is no different except....I think I finally have learned to accept myself. I think mostly, for the past decade, I have been bringing up all the issues that face us single girls (not dissimilar to our Sex and the City Heroine Carrie B) in a way that justifies our choices.

Like, as if we had to defend them.

And then, Taylor comes along, and with one song literally nails it. Gives us, "The Oppressed", our much deserved freedom. And me some much needed clarity. (Okay okay, I won't give her all the credit, but this song totally got me thinking.) Sadly, this isn't my first post about a song, so please, just bear with me.

We're all bored, we're all so tired of everything
We wait for trains that just aren't coming
We show off our different scarlet letters, trust me mine is better.

We're so young, we're on the road to ruin;
We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing

We cry tears of mascara in the bathroom, honey life is just a classroom

Cause baby I can build a castle, out of all the bricks they throw at me
And everyday is like a battle; but every night with us is like a dream

Baby we're the new romantics, come along with me
heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly
We are too busy dancing, to get knocked off our feet
Baby we're the new romantics, the best people in life are free

We're all here, the lights and noise are blinding;
We hang back-it's all in the timing
It's poker, you can't see it in my face but I'm about to play my Ace

We need love, but all we want is danger
We team up, then switch sides like a record-changer

The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true...

Please take my hand and please take me dancing
and please leave me stranded-it's so romantic....

It is taking all I have not to go line by line, so I will just say this...you know how you hear about those people that are "the wild ones?" Like it was Kerouac or someone- I am definitely not going to be all pseudo-intellectual and pretend to know where it's actually from; but we always hear about those people. Maybe to some they are scary; to others, they are misunderstood, or sad, or crazy. To a much smaller group, they are known as family. People we relate to because we are the same. Because to these people, the wild ones aren't contained in a story or literary reference. They are real.

I am a wild one. I am, for all practical purposes, A New Romantic. And I think, I just discovered what that actually means.

I have spent the last 7 years (with one tiny break) navigating my way through this city. Trying to find my path, falling in and out of love, thinking about establishing roots...but...something keeps coming up. Like, it's not exactly right. And I stay put because I think it means something if I can't stay in one place long enough to call it "home." Like, why can't I put down roots? Why do I always end up with the beautiful crazy love stories that never fail to break my heart? Why am I always changing people's lives wherever I go but it never feels like enough? Why do I never KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE??

Is it really just a matter of being bored? Yes. Do I know exactly what I am doing? More than I would like to admit. Is everyday a battle? Hell yes. But does everyone want to spend every night with me because it's like a dream? (You would be shocked at THAT statistic.) How many of my love stories end with being stranded, and me inevitably learning from but loving every second of it? And how many opportunities have I had to choose love and I went with danger instead?? (insert monkey covering eyes emoji here)

I've never tried to build a castle, but I have got bricks for about 349 different ones (Thank you HATERS...or more like the uncomfortable, misunderstanding MAJORITY)

For the first time in my life, I am finally ready to embrace being free. I love, but I don't want to settle down. I want to play my Ace when I am ready (and I've got more than 4). Instead of trying to make ties, I want to be my own ties. I want to dance and dance and never stop. I want to go wherever my heart tells me. I don't care how old I am or if I am on the road to ruin.

As history shows, I am in love with heartbreak. It IS my anthem and I am tired of wondering what is wrong with me because of it. I want to accept it, and embrace it. Count all of this as an experience, and sing it all proudly.

So that's it. So I want to thank my gurl, T. Swift, for shedding light on the small minority of us free, wild spirits. I hope it inspires a movement of us to unclip our wings, come out of our shells, and become the swans we are. I know I am. Now...where to next.