balance and bravery: the new synonym.

Bravery.

I used to think I was so brave. I spat in the face of fear, picked up and moved my life everywhere; searching for balance, strength and happiness, and a life worth living. And then...I found it. Then I lost it again...and now I am wondering what it all even is.

I am beginning to understand that this life worth living isn't as easy as being happy. It isn't as easy as finding a partner to share it with. It isn't as easy as finding an amazing job, apartment, dog, city. This life worth living isn't actually easy at all.

I have learned a lesson the past few days from some old and new(er) friends. What makes life worth living are the hard things. Those things we can't imagine doing, but know we have to. The things that create something known as bravery.

Have you ever had to lose a parent? Have you almost died? Have you stood up to someone you loved so much, that you lost them, and lived to tell about it? Have you chosen to finally restore your own soul over the soul of someone who destroyed you? Have you loved so much it hurts? Have you had the courage to tell someone everything, regardless of the outcome? Have you ever left? Have you ever chased a dream until you caught it? Have you ever jumped without knowing where you were going to land?

These things....these are bravery.  Everything I just described is something one of my friends has done or is doing. I never say it, but I am so inspired by their courage and conviction to live life. To search and fight until they've had a life worth living. It's the hardest thing anyone can ever do, and honestly, for some, I don't know even know how they do it.

I think I am learning that with bravery comes balance. Is that all it takes? To be brave; to be really and truly honestly brave in order to have the best possible life?

People tell me all the time how brave I am. How I have no fears and will do anything. Inside I know, that my bravery is only second to those who inspire me to be so brave in the first place.