My wish has been granted

So it's here. (almost)....The big THREE OH. And you would think, having 11 months, and 30 days to prepare, that I would be ready....

and I am.


in a way.


Surprisingly, as I am facing my last few days in my 20s, my thoughts are not on my lost youth, but really on the rest of my life. Is this normal? Do we have an internal clock that says: "Now you are 30, let the countdown of days left on Earth begin now." Haha, it's a funny thought.

I used to remember thinking how old 30 was. Like, it was ancient. Now I know that my life is just starting...or is it?

This week I have been highly inspired by one of the most fantastic women that lived during our time. Someone who, surprisingly enough wasn't a direct role model to me, until, posthumously, God revealed her to me and taught me so much about this thing we call life.

Nora Ephron was destined to be successful. Following in the footsteps of her parents, who practically paved her way to Hollywood (blessing her with a beautiful gift of words and a good, solid name), she found herself the well received author of everything in her prime: award winning screenplays, movies, books, countless articles. She dispensed  her knowledge and spun every one of her life's misfortunes: from 2 divorces to her mother's death, into an art form for the masses.

Then, it was over. As Frank Rich put it, "we took a nap, and she was gone." She died fighting a severe battle with Leukemia, something she lived with for over 6 years, without virtually telling a soul.

For SIX YEARS she kept a terrible, horrible secret. Barely telling her HUSBAND, not telling her children-no one knew. Everyday she woke up and went about her life as usual, while dying. She let her girlfriends call her up and bitch about their jobs, boyfriends, etc. She entertained her children's mild complaints of schoolwork and adulthood, and even when tragedy struck outside hers, she didn't falter-she even reached out to offer up help.

 In light of the way her life ended, I think it was the most unselfish act anyone has ever done. Can you imagine? How amazing of a woman do you have to be to not tell anyone you are dying??! To remind your best friend as she is crying about her life, or dissing her job, or being unhappy, that " hello, at least you aren't DYING." Nora Ephron didn't do that-not one single day. Her children and those close to her believe through her unselfishness, they were able to experience Nora as she wanted to be remembered; not fussing over someone who is battling for her life on a daily basis. So her careful balancing act was not only for herself, but for her loved ones as well; and for someone like me; a girl whose only commonality is that she lives in the same neighborhood and shares the same passion for New York and writing. Her unselfish actions have unexpectedly catapulted me into a very unique state as I approach my birthday. I have literally changed the way I think about everything.

EVERYTHING.

Without realizing it, receiving this hearty helping of Perspective has given me the strength, will and grace to transition into my 30s with ease.

Life is so short. It is so short. I never understood it until I realized Nora's story. We can never predict what will happen, and we certainly can't speculate. We only get one life. And we have no idea when it will end.

It's too short to waste it being bitter. Holding grudges. Being sad. Disappointed. Upset. Angry. Anxious. It's too short for regrets, and too short to dwell on coulda woulda shouldas.  The best we can do is learn from everything that happens. And live in the moment.

In her later days, Nora would always ask herself: "Am I doing what I really want to be doing?" And if the answer wasn't yes, she would immediately change whatever it was that she didn't want to do. The kicker was: the question wasn't conditional. It wasn't circumstantial (who really wants to spend a Monday afternoon doing Chemo treatments?) It's about your heart. Am I living life the way I want? Am I doing what I want to do?  Am I leaving the kind of impression I want to leave? Can I be proud of what I am leaving on this earth? It's this kind of perspective on one's life that moves mountains, opens doors and changes lives.

Am I doing what I really want to be doing? Are you?

 Currently, I'm writing. So the answer for me is a resounding yes.

Yes.

It's the best answer a girl in her thirties could hope for. Thanks for the perspective, Nora. Hats off from yet another someone whose life has been changed by you.